I’m Just Saying
A Guide to Maintaining Civil Discourse
in an Increasingly Divided World
“I’m Just Saying is not just a word of warning about the emerging Frankenstein of intolerance, but it is also an earnest, tech-savvy, entrepreneurially minded, morally conscientious assay at fashioning a democratic, tolerant, self-aware, and self-critical citizenry—the very foundation of an enduring democracy.”









I’m Just Saying
A Guide to Maintaining Civil Discourse
in an Increasingly Divided World

“I’m Just Saying is not just a word of warning about the emerging Frankenstein of intolerance, but it is also an earnest, tech-savvy, entrepreneurially minded, morally conscientious assay at fashioning a democratic, tolerant, self-aware, and self-critical citizenry—the very foundation of an enduring democracy.”


Let’s talk about Discourse
Have you ever been in a conversation that, after volleying back and forth, ended with the words, “I’m just saying . . .”? Usually, this signals frustration, that the discussion has reached a dead end, that you haven’t made your point - and may even leave you feeling that your relationship with the other person has changed for the worse.
In I’m Just Saying, I show that, although challenging conversations can be unpleasant, they can also help us grow. I use contemporary case studies and personal experience to teach you how to have constructive conversations by engaging in civil discourse—the idea that good-faith actors can reach consensus on any opinion-based disagreement. Along the way, I answer all the questions you’ve had about discourse, and teach my tricks to become a better conversation partner.
Civil discourse, an essential part of democracy, is becoming rare in today's digital age. I’m Just Saying examines discourse's successes and the ways to rebuild it. Drawing from history, popular culture, and personal anecdotes, this book promotes effective civil discourse by providing practical advice and strategies for respect. Through my stories and advice, I’m Just Saying offers insight and tools for politeness in a divided world.
10 Tools This Book Will Teach You
10 Tools This Book Will
Teach you
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What people are saying
Talking to the Blank page
I never realized writing a book would be such a long dialogue.
Maybe that’s because it’s my first, and I was naive. This book was over three years in the making, an evolving conversation between myself and the page. And a blank page is a terrible conversation partner.
During that time, the book constantly evolved, just as a conversation does. As I workshopped each chapter with friends, got each new set of edits from my team, or worked my way through the stoics one more time, my emphasis changed. Some chapters ballooned, others dissolved and were boxed for other projects. In the end, my wonderful editorial team and I went with our final statements, and words were made permanent in ink and pixels.
The end result, I’m Just Saying, is far more conversational than I ever expected. I became comfortable addressing common questions and describing my favorite strategies. That long conversation I had with the page made me better at discourse - precisely because practice makes perfect when it comes to improving our civil discourse skills!
And, in the end, that blank page was one of the best conversations I’ve had.

Want to Learn More About Civil Discourse?
Commonly Asked Questions
What is the main argument of the book I'm Just Saying?
What is the main argument of the book I'm Just Saying?
Milan Kordestani is a best-selling author who argues that civil discourse is essential for democracy and personal growth. The book provides practical tools to turn opinion-based disagreements into constructive, growth-oriented conversations based on good-faith collaboration.
What practical tools does the book offer to improve communication?
What practical tools does the book offer to improve communication?
I’m Just Saying provides 10 key strategies, including how to use self-reflection to address personal biases, methods for finding common ground with discussion partners, and exercises for becoming a more active, attentive listener.
Why does Milan emphasize "civil discourse" in today's digital age?
Why does Milan emphasize "civil discourse" in today's digital age?
Milan Kordestani offers useful advice for navigating a divided world. He examines the successes and failures of modern discourse, using contemporary case studies to provide practical strategies that rebuild respect and foster a more connected, empathetic society.
How does the book guide readers to handle conflict constructively?
How does the book guide readers to handle conflict constructively?
This book successfully shows how to engage conflict collaboratively. The book provides lessons from Japanese philosophy to help with focus and patience, offers tips for examining one's own tone, and teaches how to embrace conflict as a necessary means to grow trust and strengthen relationships.
What is the book's ultimate goal for the reader?
What is the book's ultimate goal for the reader?
The book’s ultimate goal is to equip readers with the strategies needed to become a better conversation partner, empowering them to disengage from trolls, avoid poor discourse, and help others be more civil in their dialogue.











