How To Foster Self-Confidence

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Date:

November 14, 2022

Author:

Milan Kordestani

Entrepreneur, writer, and founder of 3 purpose-driven companies oriented toward giving individuals control over their own discourse and creation. Milan works to produce socially positive externalities through a mindset of social architecture.

Hi! I'm Milan, an LA based founder and writer, architecting impact-first businesses.

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How To Foster Self-Confidence

Building your self-confidence is a process that takes time, dedication, and practice. With self-confidence, you can achieve anything you set on your mind. Research indicates that people with higher self-esteem earn an average of $7000 more per year. Despite the fact that 85% of the world's population has self-esteem issues, there is a way to be more confident.

Self-confidence is contagious. It can make the difference between getting that promotion at work or being stuck in the same job for years. A positive self-image can improve relationships, help you avoid mental and physical health issues associated with low self-esteem, and make you a happier person. The steps I've outlined below will help you build self-confidence and live with more confidence.

What Is Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence is not something we’re all born with.  Some people have more of it than others, but it can be learned by anyone. Self-confidence means to stand up for what you believe in and control your own life.  It’s about being able to deal with the world around you by controlling your emotions and thoughts.  You can’t control what happens to you, but you can choose how you respond to it. Self-confidence comes from feeling a sense of control over our lives.

Why Self-Confidence Is Important

To learn how to build self-confidence, you must first learn why it's important.  Having confidence in yourself is the best way to find success in all areas of life.  When you trust your own abilities, you gain trust in your colleagues and bosses. You will earn a reputation for reliability and responsibility.

Self-confidence is important not just because of how it affects others, but also because of the effect it has on your own behavior. When you have self-confidence, you’re more likely to pursue goals and accomplish them. Believing in your ability to overcome obstacles makes you more willing to try and fail. It improves your skills, resiliency, and what you are capable of. The benefits of self-confidence are endless.

How To Build Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is not only about what you feel about yourself on the inside, but also how you project that feeling to others. Projecting a positive image to others can help you improve your self-confidence, but faking it will not get you very far. These steps will help you build self-confidence so that the image you present to the world matches the confidence within:

  1. Improve your body language

Body language can tell you if someone is confident. The good news is that, even if you don’t feel confident in the moment, mimicking confident body language can help you become confident. Standing or sitting up straight instead of slouching says a lot about your self-confidence. Open your body and make eye contact with whomever you’re interacting with.

  1. Practice civil discourse

Civil discourse requires a great deal of confidence and intelligence. Practice active listening when someone else is talking, be open-minded, and give honest feedback in return. If you’re willing to have civil conversations about difficult topics, you will not only build confidence in your abilities, but also realize that you are a capable, intelligent person.

  1. Quit the comparison game

Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time. Instead, focus on improving yourself day by day. Don't compare yourself to other people, who may have private struggles you know nothing about. Instead, focus on your own accomplishments and the positive aspects of your life.

  1. Become a better communicator

Confident people know how to have effective communication, the more you work on your communication skills, the easier it will be for you to succeed. Learning the principles of communication is crucial for making a good first impression. It allows you to engage other people, and it lets you project confidence even when you’re plagued with self-doubt.

  1. Focus on personal growth

Focusing on internal growth instead of external will guard you against feelings of inadequacy or impostor syndrome.  Practice meditation, mindful listening and emotional growth. These areas will make you a more resilient, resourceful and emotionally mature person. Confidence will help you tackle obstacles, bounce back from defeats, and feel good about yourself no matter what life throws your way.

  1. Affirm yourself

Positive affirmations are a powerful tool for building and retaining self-confidence. By stating aloud your positive qualities, you will remember your strength and know your worth. You can change your life by changing your thinking.  Every morning, repeat positive mantras in the mirror, such as “I can handle anything life throws at me” or “I am deserving of all my successes.” Write down a list of your strengths, carry it with you and refer to it whenever self-doubt strikes.

  1. Seek out feedback

People who are self-confident also have a healthy sense of humility.  They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they aren’t afraid to admit to either.  Instead of resting on their laurels, they are always working hard to improve themselves.  Find mentors who have what you want and learn from them.  Get feedback from your mentor about your performance to identify areas in which you can grow.  You'll not only stay on track with your personal growth, but you'll also get positive external feedback on your strengths.

  1. Take care of your body

Physical wellness is essential to self-confidence. It’s hard to feel grateful for our outside blessings when we’re dealing with fatigue, stress, and body image issues. To build and maintain self-confidence, make sure you’re practicing self-care in fitness, nutrition and mental wellness. Establish a workout routine that fits your schedule, even if it’s just 10 minutes at a time. Take the time to read food labels and choose healthy foods you enjoy eating.  Have a self-care routine in place to deal with stress and avoid burnout.

  1. Test your limits

Learning something new is one of the best ways to build self-confidence. If you spend all of your time doing what you already know how to do, you won’t have an accurate gauge of your abilities to handle the unknown.  Push yourself to the limits of your abilities by trying new things and experiencing new skills that you’ve never tried before. You’ll build self-confidence when you realize just how well you do when up against a challenge that is outside of your comfort zone.

How To Know If You Are Overconfident

When building self-confidence, it’s easy to go too far and fall into the trap of overconfidence.  As long as you’re mindful of the signs of overconfidence, you can build self-confidence without alienating others.   Here are the signs to watch out for:

  • You talk much more than you listen.
  • You’d rather teach others than learn from them.
  • You’re obsessed with how others perceive you.
  • You deny your weak spots and dismiss your failures.
  • You hide your true self around other people.
  • You get frustrated when you don’t do as well as you think you should.
  • You stop trying to grow.

Knowing how to be confident is an extremely valuable skill, one that can greatly affect the way that you interact with people and the way your coworkers, friends, and family view you. The tips above are meant to get you started on your journey towards a more confident state of mind. But remember: it takes time, so don't expect overnight results. The more effort you put in every day, the better you'll feel about yourself and the more confident you'll become.

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